Awake, Arise, and Follow

Acts 20:24-“But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”

This statement is made by Paul to the Ephesus leaders as he explains that he must go to Jerusalem where he knows that afflictions and imprisonment awaits. He was obeying the Spirit no matter what the cost or what he would suffer for the sake of the Gospel.

What a counter-cultural statement. We live in a nation that is all about making something of ourselves, about getting an education to get a great job so that we can live in a nice house and drive a nice car. Or even messages that we were plagued with in school like, “You’re a great person. Have confidence in yourself. The sky is the limit for you.” And I fear that in a lot of ways we, sons and daughters of God the Father, have fallen into this American Dream. But, how do we return to this conviction that Paul had? What does it look like to account my life of no value?

My friend and I have been praying this verse for our hearts. I so earnestly pray that the Lord would give me this conviction and attitude no matter where He has me. I pray that no matter what the cost, even if it requires my life, I would joyfully finish the assignment the Lord has given me.

                Then we move onto passages like Philippians 3:7-8 that states, “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” Everything- that word entails, well, everything. My job, my money, my friends, my family, and even such things as my education, my pride, my outward appearance, my ministry, my failures, my security, my comfort, my pleasure, my reputation, people’s approval of me, my logical reasoning and understanding, my thoughts, my expectations, my worries, my fears, my self-life, etc. This ten-letter word can entail my entire life.

These past 9 months have been a humbling time for me. A time when things didn’t go as expected. My plans changed. God exposed a lot of my sin, pride, failures and mess ups. A lot of things just didn’t make much sense to me. It was more a time defined by seeming “defeats” rather than “successes.” But as I reflect on these past months, I am overwhelmed to see God’s purposeful working in the midst of it all. Through the hard times and confusing times, I have seen Him allow me to go through it to ultimately see the disappointment and lack of fulfillment of my “everythings” and to set my mind on Him, who has captured my love and my devotion. Through these circumstances, He has separated me from my “everythings”, to see the emptiness and nothingness they offer in comparison to Him. And each time as I forsake those “everythings” and allow them to take the proper place in my life  and instead choose Him, I get a sweet, addicting taste of my eternal Father which far exceeds anything, I mean ANYTHING, this world has to offer.

What is my life other than to know Jesus Christ my Lord? Though following Him and obeying Him may require a painful ripping from earthly treasures, those struggles cannot even begin to compare to the surpassing worth in knowing Jesus Christ. Although the battle between my flesh and the Spirit is a very very real battle, ultimately, I know that no matter what, obeying Him is always, and forever will be the very best option. And I’m finding the more I obey Him even when it doesn’t make sense, the more I see His faithfulness and the more I deeply trust Him. What an overwhelming, divine peace He offers when we rest and trust in Him.

I recently read Shadow of the Almighty by Elizabeth Elliot. It is the testament of Jim Elliot’s life. After reading Jim’s journal entries in the book, one can see glimpses of Jim’s thirst and hunger for the God of the Universe. He was willing to forsake anything, even the love of his life, to joyfully obey and submit to the Lord. Although his struggles were real and following Him meant a brutal martyrdom, an observer and reader of his life cannot miss the loving, unmistakable faithfulness of the Lord God in his life. It is absolutely incredible to see the way in which the Lord weaved the small details of Jim’s life together into something beautiful. It was nothing that Jim conjured up or planned. All Jim did was joyfully submit to the Master Planner, no matter what the cost, and God bore beautiful and fragrant fruit with his life.

And so, I choose to follow the Master-Planner, for thus says the Lord, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)” As I obey God and follow His leading, I cannot deny the beautiful details He is orchestrating in my own life. Though the journey can be difficult, the Master Planner has a beautiful journey for each of us. When we rest and trust in Him, how wonderful it can be when HE is the one planning in HIS timing and in HIS way. And even though we try to control everything and plan what WE think is best, when we instead obey Him, we look back and realize how much greater HIS plans are for our life than the ones we conjure up.  He is omniscient, sovereign, and faithful in all things, so our natural response in light of these facts is to TRUST Him. Even when things don’t make sense. Even when we are confused by the results. Even if we find ourselves at a Red Sea where we see no way out. God is in control.

 I pray that we, brother and sisters of Christ, would see Christ as our one pursuit, our one passion, and our first love. May we account our lives as nothing, leave behind our “everythings” and with love, joyfully fulfill the purpose for which He has called us. May we, out of our deep love and devotion to our Lord, obey Him in everything. Let us trust the Master-Planner who works all things together for the good of those who love Him. We are not called to be “conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. (Romans 12:2)” We are to be a people of love, faith, and hope (1 Cor. 13:13). We are citizens of a Heavenly Kingdom that is invading this dark and broken world. Dear citizens, let our concerns be on the heavenly and eternal, rather than the earthly and temporary. (Col. 3:2) Church, let us awake, arise, and follow in the footsteps of our Beloved.

 “Lord, how excellent are Thy ways, and how devious and dark are the ways of man. Show us how to die, that we may rise again to newness of life. Rend the veil of our self-life from the top down as Thou didst rend the veil of the Temple. We would draw near in full assurance of faith. We would dwell with Thee in daily experience here on this earth so that we may be accustomed to the glory when we enter Thy heaven to dwell with Thee there. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

-The Pursuit of God, A.W. Tozer

Psalm 37:5- "Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act."

I believe the Lord is asking me to share some insight into what He has been doing these past months in my own personal life. I am truly in awe of His sovereignty, and I pray that this blog post produces the fruit of love, joy, amazement, and trust in our Heavenly Father who is the Master Planner.  The glory alone belongs to Him, and everything good is His doing.

During my time at MGM and Whitefields, I sensed that my time there would be short. Not because I wanted it to be shorter, but because the tasks that they asked me to do would only take a couple months to fulfill. One of the ministry’s goals for this year was to effectively communicate to supporters through their website and newsletter all that God is doing in the Dominican Republic through the Whitefield’s ministry (which is a lot!). I had the awesome opportunity to spend time with the sugarcane pastors that Whitefields supports. I spent time gathering information on their ministries, the pastors themselves, their families, and the topics they discussed at their meetings. I had the privilege to get to know them and hear their hearts, which…wow, God truly crafts beautiful pots out of clay J. However, interviewing the pastors only took so long and during the months between March and May, the ministry is a lot less busy. Although I was involved in other things, I could not see the sense in coming down again during those months when there really was not much to do after the month of March. I was coming home March 8^th because I was in my friend’s wedding with the expectation to return on March 22^nd. With the facts that the ministry is less busy and that the government is now cracking down on the “90 day stay without a visa rule”, I decided I would not go back to the DR March 22^nd like I had planned and instead, stay home for a little bit to reevaluate things.

Now, I am going to back up a second. Before I even went to the Dominican Republic in January, I received a phone call from a girl by the name of Sarah who was going down to the DR to stay with a missionary by the name of Pastor Marcos in La Romana. She wanted to connect with me and see if I was interested in going with her. She received my name from a long list of connections. I had already committed to work with Whitefields, so we ended the conversation encouraging one another as we embarked on two separate journeys and hoped to run into each other while there.

Now, during my first month there, I constantly kept hearing the name Pastor Micah, who I confused with Pastor Marcos. For some reason, I had mixed up their names and thought they were referring to the man that Sarah was staying with in La Romana. So one day I contacted her and just asked to hear more about his ministry. After talking to her, I realized I had confused his name and realized it was not the same person. Needless to say, I didn’t think much about what she told me and moved on. Looking back now though, I can see how God used this to bring Marcos’ name back to my mind.

Sometime in February, Sarah emailed me and said that Marcos wanted to meet up with me. I remember thinking that was odd, since he probably only had heard my name mentioned possibly through Sarah. I figured Sarah had expressed a desire to meet up with me, and he consented to go. But I still thought that was very generous of him considering Hato Mayor is a good hour trip from La Romana. Around this time, I was really starting to realize that my stay at MGM would be short. It was extremely confusing because I had committed to the seven months and was expecting to be there that long. I was still confident that I had heard His call to come to the Dominican Republic correctly, but I was confused by the results. Why would He send me just for this to happen? Why did things go so differently than what I was expecting? I felt like Moses at the Red Sea. God had performed all these wonders to get Israel out of Egypt and then, they stop right in front of the Red Sea, completely trapped between the dangerous Sea and the Egyptian army. They must have been thinking, “Really, all of this to be here, Lord? You really brought us here so that we could fail?” But He didn’t let them fail. He was only setting them up so that His glory would be displayed. And, after God displayed His glory, it caused wonderful reactions in Israel and Moses. They feared the Lord, believed in Him and sang praises to Him. Exodus 15:2 “The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.” God directed me to passages like Psalm 37 and was asking me to trust Him. Despite all my many different emotions, He gave me His peace and rest.

He led me to start praying over my circumstance. I asked that He would clearly lead in all of this confusion. I prayed that if He wanted me to stay, He would provide another open door. I remember the morning before I met with Marcos and Sarah, I sensed a deep need to pray over our conversation that day. It must have been the Spirit bringing this thought to my mind that morning because I remember thinking…what if I could stay with Marcos! The thought had never occurred to me until that morning. I prayed that if God was opening that door and was leading me through it, He would have Marcos ask me to stay with him during our meeting. I wanted it to be led by God not something that I conjured up or tried to control, and I knew that if I asked Marcos to stay with him, it would be my desperate attempt to make something work so that all of this would make sense to me. Instead, I wanted to rest in the Lord and allow Him to make the decisions. I asked the Lord that if it was according to His will, Marcos would be the one to bring it up and make the offer. And guess what happened. Before I had said anything about what was going on with MGM, Marcos asked me if I wanted to stay with His family and work with his ministry after my time at MGM. I was deeply aware that the Lord was orchestrating in these details.

Although the Lord had clearly spoken in regards to staying with Marcos, my stubborn spirit grew discouraged and indecisive. The Enemy used a lot of things to discourage my going with Marcos.  Honestly, I just wanted to be home. I was frustrated. I came home just plain confused and unsure of my next step.

After the wedding in March, I got a job that I really enjoyed. Truly God was the one orchestrating in those details as well. I was really starting to get adjusted and used every excuse in the book not to go back even though there was a huge part of me that really wanted to return to the DR. For starters, I was not hearing back from the ministry I was at before to come back in June. I figured that I just should not go back since that door was closed. But the lingering thought of that offer made by Marcos continued to come back over and over again. There was an internal war inside of me… I came home and got a job that I really enjoyed . I developed a great friendship with a dear sister in Christ. I needed to continue to save up money for school. I would lose the job that I really enjoyed. These were the thoughts of my flesh that waged war against the Spirit. I wanted to do what made sense and what was most convenient, yet I knew my Heavenly Father was asking something else from me. And I hated it. Basically it boiled down to this question: Am I willing to put myself in a position where I completely and totally have to depend on Him in trust no matter how confusing, and quite honestly, counter-productive, and illogical (to the world), the situation may be? It wasn’t a question of whether or not I was willing to sacrifice my time, money, job, and comfort (But I have to say, parting with those things, to my dismay and shame, was not as easy for me as I wish to admit). The real question was: Do I love him and will I obey Him? Do I really trust God at His Word? Am I willing to set aside the gifts He has given me to know the gift giver better? He had to change my perspective to see that my job and my present circumstances were a GIFT from Him. They were given to me not for me to cling on to them, but to be thankful for them. Once He gave me this understanding, I could see that these earthly treasures were never mine to claim. They were given to me to be used for His glory not my comfort. We cannot serve two masters. I cannot explain the promptings of the Holy Spirit, but as His sheep, we know our Shepherd’s voice. I could not shake the Holy conviction and prompting to go back to the DR. The Spirit’s promptings are quite unexplainable, but they were ignited as I sat in Church meetings, spent time in prayer, read His Word, read missionary biographies, and sat in His presence. I needed to go back with Marcos. I tried to compromise with Him in my mind with some of the things He was asking me to do. I won’t go on in great detail about these other things, but He basically was asking me to do everything the hardest way possible for me. I kept trying to find ways out that fit more of my understanding, but there was no peace. Absolutely no peace. I knew the right decision, and I continued to fight it.

Then, one morning, my mom said, “I really believe this is the Lord wanting me to tell you that you have to go back in May.” And, I simply said-“ I know.” Despite all my stubbornness, He still went to the length of using my mom to speak to me.  What grace He has with one who has such a stubborn heart. There was this fire welling up inside of me, and I simply thought, okay, if I truly say I trust Him, I must obey Him in this. So I said, okay Lord, I surrender. I relinquish control over this part of my life because it is Yours anyways. I knew what He was asking, so I made a decision. I settled in my heart that I was going to obey Him in everything, told Marcos I was coming, and bought the plane ticket. 

When I arrived here, my jaw dropped at His goodness, His sovereignty, and His orchestrating all along. Despite all my doubts, failures, confusions, etc. He has been orchestrating my journey all along. The second day upon arriving (May 13), Marcos asked me how I came to the decision to stay with him. I explained basically what I just wrote here. He told me that the real reason he had come all the way to Hato Mayor to meet me was because the Lord had brought my name up to him a couple times in prayer. The Lord told him to meet up with the "girl in Hato Mayor" and make an offer for her to stay with him and his family (he told me later he fought God in this request because he did not have the gas to drive all the way over to Hato Mayor). I asked God that it would not be my plan, and He answered. He was orchestrating all these details all along. He did not have to give me confirmation but knowing that I’m a “words of affirmation” kind of girl, I think He allowed me to have insight into that one. So, I am without a shadow of a doubt in His will in being here. I’m not sure what the journey will look like or why or what the end result will be, but that is okay. I simply know that I am in His will having obeyed all that He has asked of me, and there is just no better place to dwell.  

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. AND love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-40)

Hello there! I returned to the Dominican Republic on May 12th and will be staying through June 23rd. I am staying with a missionary by the name of Marcos Lykins who does missions in La Romana. Marcos and his family do a lot of work in the poorer neighborhoods of La Romana building relationships, supplying needs, and sharing Truth. Marcos' aim in working in these neighborhoods is to train and equip the Dominicans, so that they can then be independent and train others too. His ministry covers a lot of different areas such as working with former prostitutes and teaching them a vocation, pastoral training, short term teams, and daily visits to establish deep relationships. Because it is the Spirit leading and guiding this ministry, there is no set box of what Marcos does in these neighborhoods, so it is difficult to convey all that he does there. It is amazing to watch God work as we depend on His leading in ministry. Here is his blog if you want to read more about his ministry ://marcoslykins.blogspot.com/

This first week and a half, Marcos has been training and teaching me from the Scriptures about missions and other topics. Wow, the Lord has been revealing so much of His heart and desires through these studies. We have gone out to a neighborhood called Brizas del Mar to connect with the people there and start intentional relationships. One particular family the Lord has led us to is a mom (Mami-Ana) and six children. They live in a dirty shack and have hardly enough water and food to survive. The mother is ill and three months pregnant. Before we showed up a couple days ago, Mami-Ana was close to giving up. But little by little, as we continue to spend time with her, encourage her, and help her, we pray that she grasps on to the hope of Christ. And I can't wait to play with her kiddos, just so I can see a smile on their sweet faces :) Today we visited an orphanage in La Romana, and I am praying about getting involved there as well. Those kiddos are a blessing.

I have so much joy in doing this kind of relational ministry. These are my brothers and sisters. They are real people with real feelings and needs. And I love that they are willing to invite me in so that I can get to know them and come alongside them. I look forward to share the ways in which God is working in Brizas del Mar. I'm excited for the adventure He has ahead!